We recently returned from a two week vacation in Virginia where Laura and I decided to spend some time with my father. The truth is that tomorrow is not promised for any man and since my earthly father has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, next year is certainly not taken for granted. The old man was born on the 4th of July and goes by the CB handle “firecracker.” He made a career of being a 3rd generation milkman and taught us through actions that hard work and teamwork makes the dream work. There’s so many life lessons that my sister and I learned growing up and still are learning today. With the exception of a non-stop work ethic, his love for my mother has proved to be a great example of what a real man looks like.
This is not where the identity crisis revelation came to me however it did happen on this trip. Laura and I have a 17 year old son named Jacob that has been struggling to find his own way as most teenagers do. Our contracting business has opened a few opportunities for him despite the lack of experience and maturity that some projects require. Mostly in my opinion, there’s a ranking system that is required to be understood before proceeding to the next level. For example, you should be more loyal to your family than to the crews working for us. Secondly, the father of the house is the proverbial “king of the castle” and has the ultimate say in ALL matters. This is very important in a biblical sense as the family is designed to follow their earthly father as he follows His Heavenly Father.
Without going into the exact personal and private details of what happened, let’s just briefly touch on a few points. Family dynamics can be very difficult to understand especially when they are coupled with disorders such as anxiety and negativity. This situations can leave you wishing certain words never left your mouth and families have chosen to never speak again over some of these irreconcilable differences. You’ll see this play out more frequently during funerals and when money is being divided up between inheritors. My family is no different and some things that may be considered to be small can potentially be completely blown out of proportion if not handled with kid gloves. This is exactly what happened during our visit which prompted a private conversation between Jacob and I. When I tell you that the “tension was pretty thick” at times, this is no understatement what so ever.
Whether we are talking about our business, our household or our immediate and extended family, the same principles remain true. At the end of the day when the smoke recedes and the dust settles, you’re on MY team first and WE are on the same team. If we were using a military example I would say, “If a Sergeant tells you to go left, a Major tells you to go right and then a General tells you to keep going straight, which direction would you go?” The answer would be to follow the commands of the highest ranking personnel or officer in this case. For this reason I’ve used the expression of having an “identity crisis.” The kid is just having some real trouble realizing this simple fact.
As always, self reflection is needed before assuming blame or passing judgement on another. After thinking for a minute about my responsibilities as a child of God who is supposed to be following my Father, I received a SPIRITUAL CORRELATION. Honestly, there are many times that I don’t follow the still silent voice of the Lord and gravitate towards my own thinking or desires. In addition, it would also be fair to say that I could be accused of having an “Identity Crisis” as well. Brothers and Sisters, it’s time to remember that we are sons and daughters of the Most High God and we are to remain one with Him as the Father and the Son are also one. Amen. Thanks for considering a few things in this blog and have confidence that Laura and I pray for you to have challenging moments such as this one as well.